[x]
All Deviations
All Deviations


Why you always
Tell me
Things I’m doing wrong
And never tell me
What I do right
Constantly putting
Me down
Trying to start a fight
I wish you
Would just step
Into the light
To see that its
You and never been me
Messing up
And tearing me to my knees
Ripping me down
Screaming responsibility
I don’t know
What I see in you
I guess I never will
Cause in the still frame
Of my mind
I have already
Taken the pills
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Submitted: May 14
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Author's Comments

things have been happening....and it came to my head while i was riding in the van with my family....
[x]

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~CandleDance:iconCandleDance: May 14, 2008, 6:33:26 PM
Some punctuation would help the overall effect of the piece. There are certain ways to read poems to get a response, and without any clear structuring it's difficult.

Capitalization would help too. And 'im' should be 'I'm'

--
"Take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. Take a flying fuck at the moon."
~darklove31986:icondarklove31986: Jun 5, 2008, 8:53:47 PM
ummm did i do this to you???